Don't ever think that things can't get worse...they can. And will.

The bar exam is 19 days away. I can't stop clenching my jaw, and my panic attacks have gone from every so often to daily. What's weird is that they often happen when I'm resting. I went to San Antonio for a few days and let Houston feed me and take care of things while I just studied. That was a nice change of pace and gave me some time to feel refreshed. But then I came back to Lubbock and all that restfulness vanished. Everyone keeps saying that I will be fine and I'll pass with no problem. But I honestly feel like I haven't given this bar prep my all. There has been so much to do, and I have been mediocre at best. At least that's how it feels.

And, again, I can't stop eating. I have, however, stopped exercising.

I also have to say that I hate everything and everyone today. And I probably will until August 2. But someone who wants to keep his evil reputation in tact, I'll call him Ronnie, did email me today and reminded me that I'm smart and need to keep a positive attitude and not allow myself to fail the exam before I even take it. He was right because self sabotage is my greatest skill.

Here goes another day.